Technology moves fast, and manners aren’t keeping up. In older times, real innovations were so few and far-between that social conventions had time to grow up around them. Did you know, for example, that there was a recommended greeting for use with the new-fangled telephone? People didn’t know what to say when they picked up the speaking-tube, so they were given a suggestion: “Ahoy!” I still do this today — it confuses the heck out of the telemarketers.

But now that tech is everywhere and ever evolving, people don’t know how to conduct themselves in public. The gizmos themselves are innocent, but the users are not. Here we list five gadgets that should be banned until people learn to use them.

Speakerphones

A speakerphone’s advantages are far outweighed by the fact that it can be used to play music. Specifically (and you might detect the voice of experience here), really bad rap music on the train to the beach. Back in the eighties, there was a penalty involved in portable tunes, and it came in the form of a backbreaking boombox equipped with around fifty D-Cell batteries. Now there is no barrier, and anyone can pollute public spaces with what they obviously believe to be music loved by everyone there.

Worse, the speakers are terrible. Bass becomes buzz, drums become tinny taps and vocals distort. At least the old 1970s boomboxes packed a decent punch.

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